Last night, after another hard lesson, I sought for You.
I yearned for You, like loved to lover.
Oh Father, be near to me. Forgive my foolish sins.
Be close to me.
I cannot be satisfied till we are one,
and I feel your surging love churn within me again.
Then, after the busyness of the evening,
you spoke in a still small voice,
“Be with me. I want to spend some time with you.”
I dropped everything. Thirsty. Willing. I almost ran.
I finished my nightly routine, and crawled into bed with your Word.
You fed me that night, your words searing into my soul.
After a while, the flesh took over, and I fell into a peaceful slumber.
Early in the morning, as is your custom with me, I awoke with a start.
Immediately I knew you had manifested, and were with me.
“Today I anoint you with the Spirit.” you gently whispered.
And a feeling of peace and the divine flooded over me,
bubbling like a spring without end.
The flames licked at my soul, I could not contain the exquisite feeling.
I spoke an unknown language, thanking You, spirit to Spirit.
I could think of no better way or means.
In this morning, bright eyed and new
I thank you Father, for this day.
What will you have me do today for your glory?
What will you teach this small ant today?
I am the blank canvas, for your pleasure.
To glorify the painter, and not the painted.
Paint me, front and back, top and bottom,
so that I am no longer recognizable,
and all They see is You.
This is relationship.
Intertwined. Intimate. Sacred. Overwhelming.
Oh, if only all could see the beauty of it.
How different life would be.
To feel the exquisite love that surges beneath, unseen by the naked, blind eye.
How could I not fall at your feet?
How could I not weep tears of joy?
How could I not yearn for you more, like the air I breathe?
I pray for those who do not see.
I pray for those who are too afraid to surrender, that they might find their strength in You,
and know that there is absolutely nothing to fear.
I pray for those who do not realize what they are missing.
I pray for those who say they know you, but fail to understand you.
And I pray for myself, who has only brushed the tip of an endless iceberg,
unsatisfied until I know the entirety of the width and breadth of your vast love.
I will not stop.
I will not yield to the worlds concerns.
I will keep writing.
For not a single one should be lost.
November 3, 2010.